Well today is a big day, Morgan and I are doing a taping of our campaign speech for United Way. We are both pretty nervous, and I am totally on edge. They are going to play the video at a bunch of meetings at Knoll so that all the employees get a chance to see it for the United way kick off. Wish us luck! Thank you United Way!
Dear Morgan, Someday when you look back at this blog and see what a good job your Mommy and I did trying to make sure we touched everything along your journey.
This morning you were laying on the couch when I came in for my morning visit. You were just waking up. Nothing at all seemed unusual to me. After a little while I sat down with you and you seemed sad. You never seem sad. You are a fisty little girl with lots and lots of energy and enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, last night was your first soccer practice and you just had a ball. You ran and ran! Even when your ear came off you just put it back on and kept running. We talked a little more this morning and then all of a sudden I saw you really were sad. There was a big ole tear running down your sweet cheek. I had no idea why but oh my goodness I had one on my cheek that followed right behind yours. We started talking a little more and you told me, "Mommom, I wish I was like other kids and could hear. I wish I didn't have to wear these Cochlear Implants". Well, Morgan you did break Mommom's heart this morning! But you know Morgan, You are never alone in this journey that won't be easy at times. Your family is right there with you and when you have a tear you will see we do too. And when you smile we will smile too. We are part of you Morgan!
A lot of our friends have asked how is Morgan's speech? Since cochlear implants are still a very new piece of equipment for most, it is a very good question. Most people would think she talks the same as a deaf person with a hearing aid. A hearing aid makes what a person hears just louder. A cochlear implant makes what the person hears clearer. I found a video for you to hear what Morgan sounds like. In the next month we should have her own video posted. As some of you know Morgan and Mommy are spokes persons for the United Way. We might do a power point with Morgan talking back and forth so that you can hear her also. She does sound just like these little guys in the video though.
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew." "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia." "Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel." "But does she have the patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it." "I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't seperate herself from the child occassionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." "And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."